Brownies x Brown Skin

Photo by Laura Murray, Styling by Anna Bilingskog

The world lately has been....heavy. The amount of mean spirited + hate filled rants I've seen in the past few hours....let alone the past few months.....


I bake in the dead of night when my soul is tired. When the air is thinner and the silence isn't tense there's a tiny space where time goes to stand still and give hope a chance at a second wind. A few days ago I decided to test some brownie recipes to go along with the homemade strawberry ice cream I'd already made.

At first, the ratios seemed...off. Like the mixture was for streusel or granola. I almost quit but I kept going because I figured the people that wrote the recipe knew something I didn't. Line by line, I followed the recipe and things got worse. Just before the eggs, I couldn't even stir the mix anymore. There were lumps and it was grainy and again....I thought, "This is garbage."

One egg in.....nothing is blending and the grit is REAL. Second egg goes in....then I get determined.
I didn't save this recipe, buy these ingredients, and open up my sacred time in my sacred space to fail.  So, I got a grip on that damn bowl and but my whole shoulder into making it happen.

All of a sudden....there it was.

Velvety + rich.
Smooth + inviting.
Complex + divine.

Then, I cried.

We live in a world that believes that my brown skin doesn't even deserve a modicum of the reverence we reserve for......chocolate. Exposing melted chocolate to steam is a cardinal sin while allowing racial tensions to boil over and seize up our lives with fear...is far from illegal and often encouraged.


I sat in that space listening to the nothing....staring at the soft skin of my arm.....waiting......and once the timer went off I looked at a pan of the most beautiful brownies I'd ever made. They were perfectly set....with the right amount of crackling on top. They were dense...rich...complex...and intense. They were magic.

As am I.

Who knew brownies could be that deep?


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